Feed Popeye’s Chicken to ‘Yah Enemieeeeeeees

7 05 2009

Anything that makes people act like this is pure EVIL.

Ahhh…Popeye’s Chicken. Those cajun-fried chicken slangin, butter biscuit baking, non-spinach having bastards. Popeye’s is made of unspecified bird, cajun spices, trans fats, and the main ingredient:

Raw. Uncut. Laziness.

How a food item can be filled with a behavior is beyond me. But I guarantee this. If even a morsel of Popeye’s gets into your system, NOTHING will get accomplished until [re: if ] you wake up the next day.


In the middle of a writing session, detroit CYDI went to Popeye’s to snatch up some vittles. We were coming off an hour so productive and creative, it would make Diddy look like (insert rapper that was hot two years ago). Upon eating this “food”, however, our productivity was dropped to the level of (insert rapper that was hot three years ago). How a 3 pc combo meal could uncreativatize the legendary detroit CYDI crew confused me…until we then realized the plan:

Popeye’s chicken is a conspiracy again anyone trying to achieve any level of success.

Rival team about to win the NBA championship? Send them boxes of strips and biscuits.

Over-achieving classmate ‘ucking up the curve? Slip some chicken into their starbucks.

Wack rapper that wont stfu? Hit ’em with the 8 pieces for $5 meal deal.

Popeye’s makes you lazy, hate-filled, and unproductive. The three main traits of a fucking hater ass wack rapper, detroit CYDI’s arch enemy. So here’s the plan. Let’s feed wack rappers Popeye’s Chicken. They’ll get so grease filled that they won’t be able to do anything. Wonder why rap music got so wack? Zactly. Cause Popeye’s is JUMPIN now. After eating this poison, the only rapping one could do is to mumble two word phrases that describe their slothy state.

i.e. “shirt off”, “stanky leg”, “my left arm is numb”

Popeye’s chicken is marketed to the poor, the widows, and the fatherless in order to keep them that way. It is a C-O-N-spiracy.

i won’t even front though, that shit was DELICIOUS.

– a sean uppercut psa.




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